


Rush->Reticent

by Anonymous



Category: Final Fantasy III
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Forced Feminization, Forced Feminization Backfiring due to non-binary gender identity and lack of internalized sexism, Gaslighting, Navel-Gazing, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Non-Consensual Body Modification causes angst despite non-binary identity, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Other, Rape By Proxy, Sexual Slavery, Unreliable Narrator, White Magic, non-binary characters, world building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:26:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22364080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The Warriors of Light are captured at Tokkul. As they are brought in, the Dark Wizard Hein holds off on succumbing his mind completely. Instead, he makes one sensible decision- and one that will bring Luneth to the bleakest days of his life.
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reticent- not revealing one's thoughts or feelings
> 
> Drabble collection all set in roughly the same universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Shortly post rape  
> \- Graphic rape/molestation  
> \- Terms & conditions of captivity laid out and crafted specifically to enforce an abusive power structure  
> \- Minor Gaslighting  
> \- Victim Mocking

The lamp light was dying. Luneth watched as the flame flickered on the wick, the metal base reflecting the dying light. The reflection was fragmented, leaving multiple specks of light in the brass. It highlighted round stains along the lowest points of the base, probably from dried oil. A few strands of his hair cast fascinating shadows between his eyes and the light. 

To Luneth the stains cast the illusion that there was still liquid in the lamp, as though the embers danced underwater. Perhaps fireflies gliding above a pond would be more accurate, but it really did look like these lights were underwater. Perhaps somewhere out there, there were fish that glowed and swam just like fireflies- caught by mermaid children on long days when their mothers were out hunting human flesh for their dinners.

Hunting. Luneth recalled some of the corpses they’d seen out on the ocean, butchered and torn apart. The first corpse he’d seen made by mermaid hands had gouges all along the arms and legs, where sharp teeth had torn flesh from bone. He thought there might’ve been little indents on the bones, even, where fangs had pierced through, but he hadn’t been staring for long before Reifa directed them away. The corpse’s arm had been twisted- that much he knew. It wasn’t clear if the ocean had done that to a limp body, although Luneth seemed to remember it being twisted so thoroughly around it couldn’t have been anything but deliberate. He wondered if the woman had been awake when they did that, if she’d been armed, or if they’d done it simply to be cruel.

“Tell me.” Words shattered Luneth’s daydreams, and he was brought back to the room with its dying flame. He could’ve sworn his surroundings had been darker just moments ago- surely morning couldn’t have come already. Lying on his stomach cut his field of vision short, and fixating on one light source might’ve blinded him to another.

“Has the paralysis worn off yet?” Luneth struggled to process the question as he woke further from his fantasies. He got far enough to identify the speaker as Hein, ex-privateer and usurping regent of Argus.

Hein, worshipper of darkness. Hein, master of demons. Hein, captor of the Warriors of Light. Hein, master of the floating fortress. Hein, Luneth’s-

Hein, who had given up waiting for Luneth to respond and sat down on the bed right next to Luneth while the boy was lost in his mind. Hein, who pulled Luneth up by the chin and pressed their lips together. Hein, whose invasion gave Luneth enough sense to bite down.

He moved fast enough that Luneth’s teeth clacked together, tearing pieces of flesh with it. Hein pulled back with a yelp, and Luneth fell back down without the support to keep himself up.

“I suppose that answers my question.” Hein wiped his mouth with the sleeve of the nightshirt, but there wouldn’t have been any blood.

The chunk of flesh Luneth spat out was the same- dry and firm, filled mostly with vacant cavities holding firm by unknown forces. Dig under just a few layers of skin, and anything left would be drying and blackened until it crumbled like mold, leaving the smell of decaying wood and rotting eggs.

Whatever forces held Hein’s body together knew how to masquerade as a human. He mimicked living flesh well enough that you couldn’t tell he was mostly hollow until you cut him deep. He turned Luneth onto his back, the boy trying in vain to twist away.

Hein brushed his fingers against Luneth’s cheek, studying him intently. What for, Luneth had no idea- he wasn’t trying to be subtle with his own hatred and malice, and there wasn’t much else in him right now.

At least, Luneth was fairly sure it was malice he felt. Everything seemed numb and dulled, his head aching. But his thoughts kept coming back to bloodshed, and each time the poor victims in his memory slowly shifted into Hein, picturing the man dead countless ways.

“Hey.” A few slaps landed on Luneth’s cheek, light strikes meant to grab his attention more than cause harm. A frown on Hein’s face- the lip had already healed over to hide his cursed nature. “Still sleeping?”

“Give me back my clothes.”

Hein laughed, before Luneth even realized that it was his own mouth that spoke. “Barely conscious and you’re so straightforward. No, I think not, my dear.”

“Give them back.”

“If you really want something to wear, why don’t we make a deal?”

Thumbs gently massaged his nipples in synchronization, and Luneth felt a chill in his chest and a shiver that ran down his stomach to a tingle in his groin.

For a moment the world went blank, as terror and rage flared so hard Luneth’s mind couldn’t handle it and simply shut down most processes. There was enough of this in the last twelve hours for the wounds to be fresh and Hein’s next steps to be predictable, and a human brain sometimes has to sacrifice short-term capability to ensure long-term survival.

But any challenges Luneth couldn’t handle, he tried to fight anyways. His body was still sluggish, but he moved on instinct and he managed to at least push one hand a few inches to the left.

“Oh, come now- you haven’t even heard my proposal.” Hein chuckled, a smile spreading across his face. A knee pushed between Luneth’s legs, and he felt the bare skin on Hein’s thigh press against his flaccid cock. Between his fingers and his legs, Hein rubbed him to the point that heat, once more, grew in Luneth’s body.

More words were said, but they were lost as Luneth struggled to stay afloat. His body was still hyper-sensitive, but it was also exhausted from cumming all night. There were too many aches and bruises, and as his arousal grew the exertion was causing more strain than ecstasy.

Luneth came dry. Hein biting old bruises on his neck into darker marks, three fingers slipped against his swollen, worn prostate, and the other hand cupping his shriveled balls and squeezing gently. At some point they’d relocated, Luneth sitting in Hein’s lap and slumped against his chest. His hair was even more of a mess, plastered to his forehead and stuck to his cheeks.

“Have you been listening to a word I’ve said?”

“We’re going to be working on a merit system. You get points by listening and behaving, and lose them by being a brat. Gain enough merits, and you’ll gain rewards as well. Lose merits, and you lose privileges. Simple enough?”

Luneth glowered. “Yeah…”

“At long last, he listens-” Hein crowed.

“How many merits do I have to earn to get the ‘stop raping me’ privilege?” Luneth managed- barely- to say the words louder than a whisper.

“I’m afraid I can’t grant that, even if I wanted to.”

“Then you can shove your merits up your ass.”

“It’s not my decision-“ Luneth snorted, “sex is simply the easiest method to get Darkness into your body.”

“…What?”

“You might not have noticed, but you can’t access most of the powers the Crystals have granted you. None of the combat ones, anyways. You won’t be able to, until the Darkness present in you now has faded away.”

“How…”

“Unfortunately I may not be able to attend to you all the time, so if it’s long enough I can send a few demons to keep the Light at bay.” Hein's grin looked so wide it seemed to split his face in half. “Or they can be brought in for fun.”

“You’re going to do this again.”

“I’m a fair bit stronger than the average demon, so I think it’ll be three or four days before we actually need to re-apply some Darkness. With demons… I’d say, if you take three or four every twelve hours, it should be fine. Though I’d think it’s better to be safe than sorry. Besides which, it can be quite fun, no?”


	2. Chapter 2

When he first sought the Darkness and its Power the decay had been small, and faded after a few hours. These days it never seemed to go away. Granted, perhaps if he gave it a rest for a few hours it would- but no, there was too much to do. The demons needed to be kept in line, and he knew nothing less than their power would bring Argus to its true glory.


	3. Chapter 3

Everyone has a breaking point. What matters is how we deal with it.

What made Luneth brave was not his bravado or his longing for excitement. The light of courage shone in him because when Luneth broke, he protected the pieces of himself that mattered most to who Luneth was. Everything else, Luneth sought to fix, but in ways that could keep it from breaking again anytime soon.

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that Luneth chose his own breaking points. He found the parts of himself that were causing the most trouble, and then re-shaped them on his own time. Keeping in mind both what each piece originally was, and what it needed to become.

Then again, one could say that’s exactly how everyone breaks, if they’re lucky. Or simply brave enough to keep themselves from breaking as long as they can, humble enough to recognize when the choice is to break or be broken, and courageous enough to accept it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> Non-graphic descriptions, but mentions of:  
> \- Rape  
> \- Torture  
> \- Forced Bondage  
> \- Gang-rape  
> \- Suicidal ideation  
> \- Gaslighting  
> \- Starvation  
> \- Claustrophobic, unsanitary, and inhumane living conditions  
> \- Temporary death  
> \- Healing magic used to prolong torture

Life grew hellish very quickly in the floating fortress.

Luneth was left alone in the bedroom after Hein left. Little of the first day or so stuck in his memory. At some point he found a tray of food and ate, vomiting most of it later in a fit of nausea, but barely managing to keep some down. He didn’t do much else, not before some demon came in to supply another meal and take away the old dishes. That’s when Luneth hit it with the metal tray.

He tried- the meal hadn’t come with a knife, but he’d kept the fork just for something sharp. It hadn't helped- there were others waiting outside to supply back up at a moment’s notice. Without armor, the enhanced strength and speed the crystals brought on, or even a proper weapon, the fight hadn’t lasted half a minute.

After that he was brought before Hein, literally dragged in chains at one point. Hein had offered a chance to claim shock as an excuse, but Luneth had spat on the offer. Literally.

It led into the first actual flogging. Luneth had passed out again, and even with white magic healing him well enough to erase all scars he was out cold. He didn't even get a chance to meet the unlucky mage who'd been forced to heal him, he'd been so out of it. Luneth only woke up after they’d left him in a smaller cell. It had only a drain for his shit, a small spring constantly running along one wall, and a small pile of hay.

He’d tried to break the door. To pick the lock. To dig out from the drain, or pull the stones around the spring free and form an escape passage. None of it worked- but he kept trying. When Luneth ran out of ideas, the attempts slowed, but every so often he’d come up with something new, or retry an old plan with added obstacles factored in.

And still things continued in a downwards spiral. He bit Hein, and the demons got to go. First one at a time, then they worked their way up to three or four. One in his mouth, a metal ring keeping him from biting, one riding his cock, more metal keeping it hard, one in his ass and sometimes one would grab his hands or feet and bend his limbs to awkwardly force him onto or into their own bodies, directed for their pleasure. When it was all over the worst monster of them all pulled Luneth into his lap and promised that if he was good, if he was gentle, this would be the last time.

Luneth kept fighting, and so the gang-rapes kept happening.

He attacked the monsters escorting him to Hein’s chambers, and a leather dog collar was fitted around his neck. Soft enough to not bruise, unless the leash attached was pulled too hard. He managed to grab a fire rod from Hein’s desk and used it against him. Yet when the smoke cleared, and Hein explained his weakness shift while he laughed in Luneth's face. Luneth’s meals were cut down to half-portions for his insolence. Then when he struggled and fought against being led around on all fours, his return was not to the same cell but to a literal storage locker in the ground. A ‘buried cell,’ they called it as they shoved him in. Luneth was forced to lie down, without even room to roll onto his sides, and he found it reminded him more of a coffin than a cage.

He wished it was a coffin. For hours on end, locked in alone, he’d pretend it was.

More than once, he got his wish in unusual circumstances. Even healed frequently, there were injuries that got to him before the time for white magic came. The leash was pulled too long and Luneth passed out, and woke up to the smell of Phoenix Down. He blacked out covered in shit in his cell, and was informed when he woke that sceptic shock had taken him in his sleep. The demons were surprisingly careful- only once was he fucked to death during their orgies. Every time, he came to either alone in his cell, or with Hein standing over him.

It pained him to admit, but Luneth knew he couldn’t go on like this. Sooner or later something would break- it not him, then the patience of his captors.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Implied rape  
> \- Suicidal ideation  
> \- Isolation  
> \- Forced oral sex  
> \- Gaslighting  
> \- Self-hatred

The window- door, gap in the wood, whatever- it was open, showing grey skies of midday.

Hein had left less than a minute ago. An escort would be there soon to return Luneth to his cell- in fact they were already late. For this short time he was alone and unbound and Lunet didn’t know how long that would last.

It occurred to Luneth then, that he could jump. If the fortress really was floating there wasn’t likely to be anything to stop his fall, just a few mile straight down onto the sand. Not that he really wanted to, but that’s just what people did when they were in his situation. He remembered stories of his youth, from traveling performers in Ur or the story-dances he’d sometimes do music for when Vilina got ahold of the instructions, or even tales whispered by his mother or one of the elders as a child.

It was really just one story, with variations depending on who was doing the telling- a kidnapped princess, forced to marry an evil witch for one reason or other, either the morning before the ceremony or the night after she jumps from the tower the witch was keeping her in. In the more fairy-tale versions someone saved her at the last minute, but in most stories her death was necessary to give the valiant knights the courage to attack the witch’s castle.

Luneth wasn’t a prince, and he hadn’t been married, but the concept still held up fairly well. The threat implied behind a marriage- that he’d faced. The stories always talked about the princess’ suicide as something brave, powerful, as though she were taking her life back the only way she could.

And yet… Luneth had never questioned the decision before, but here in Hein’s fortress, he couldn’t help but feel that solution was… cheap.

“Think.” Luneth murmured to himself, as he walked over to the window. “What’s the bravest thing to do right now.”

His death would just leave the world down one Warrior, the other three captive and comatose forever, and a monstrous villain free to do as he pleased.

Fighting- Luneth felt sick with guilt just thinking about that. He’d tried, over and over, and ultimately his will gave out before his enemies did. Perhaps he wasn’t doing enough-

But that was what he’d said days ago, weeks ago, and he still wound up in the same place. No, whether it was his own failings or- Luneth couldn’t really think of anything else it could be. He had to stop thinking about what else it could be, because trying to find another cause just brought more shameful memories that offered no answers, and just made himself sick.

Luneth shut the window. The important thing was that fighting had accomplished nothing. If he really wanted to kill Hein- if he really wanted to free the others- he had to think up something else. No matter how much it felt like betrayal. Like he was helping Hein destroy everything.

He swallowed down a lump in his throat. He had to focus and build an actual plan. Fighting blindly got him nowhere, and the bravest thing to do right now was to try and get somewhere. No matter what he had to sacrifice of himself in the process.

Sacrifice. What did he have? Physically, nothing- only the things he could grab fast enough. Perhaps he could bide his time, wait for one of his captors to drop their guard, and then steal their weapon? If nothing else, it was a start.

The only problem was they never dropped their guard. The last time he thought he had a chance, they’d been expecting a fight. Hein had used his stupid magic-shift the one time Luneth got a staff, and usually he was either held down or tied up. Perhaps if he could find something in this room, grab it-

And hide it where, shoved up his ass? It’d be discovered quicker than simply tying it to his foot. Perhaps, if he could get something small enough to fit between the collar and his skin- it would have be too small to be of any use. No, if Luneth wanted a chance he had to really work at getting his enemies to let their guards down.

The lock on the door turned. Luneth did so as well, ready to face whatever came to collect him.

//////

“Wait- damn it!”  
The Lamia cursed as a tidal wave of pots, pans, bottles, and other instruments Luneth didn’t care (or know how) to name. The Demon holding him swore as well, and tried to block the avalanche with one hand.

But it was too late- the Lamia was already sprawled on the floor and buried in a pile of junk up. “WHOEVER SHOVED THEIR SHIT IN HERE INSTEAD OF CLEANING IT- I WILL FIND YOU!” She roared, the intimidating effect dampened by her situation.

“Damn!” The demon swore, “It’s everywhere-”

The demon froze, and spun back to Luneth. If he was expecting Luneth to offer a hand, he could forget about it.

The demon stared at Luneth, then something in its expression changed. More… surprised. Then it dropped the junk it was holding back, which fell onto the unfortunate Lamia.

“FUCK! I was just getting free-”

“We need to finish the job.” The demon growled, grabbing Luneth’s arms again. “Seek your vendettas later.”

The Lamia hissed, but she pulled her spear out of the pile and obliged. They made it back to Luneth’s cell, pushed him down, and locked the door. He simply let his body shut down for sleep.

Only then did Luneth realize- he could’ve tried to run. His escorts had their hands full, one of them had a dagger in plain sight- he’d been too tired to realize what an opportunity it had been.

This realization of his own incompetence stung more than anything else.

///////

“I’m told you’ve been behaving yourself.”

The urge to bite off the swollen cock between his lips flared. Luneth pushed it down, imagining it decaying on its own from the rot within.

“I’m pleased- it’s always nice when a deal starts working, don’t you agree?” With one hand he stroked Luneth’s hair.

“And see, since you’ve been acting good, it means you’ve earned some merits. You remember the little system I proposed, don’t you?” Luneth rolled his eyes. But not before he pushed further down, so that Hein wouldn’t be able to see him do it. “So far you’ve only lost merits- in fact, you’re in the negatives. But with some earned, I think we can finally start offering the carrot instead of the stick.”

////////

“You’re taking him back to prison cell three. There will be no need for chains in there.”

Prison- not the buried cell. Not the obli-whatever. Something new, it could be worse, it could be so much worse, it could be-

“Don’t look so glum.” Hein stroked Luneth’s face, snapping him out of his panic. “You remember prison cell three- it’s rather dreary, and there's not much in the way of furnishings. But it’s big enough to stand in, and you don’t have to be tied down to fit.”

Hein laughed and let Luneth’s head like the dog he treated Luneth as. “Don’t give me that look- I know my generosity may surprise you. But you’ve earned this- treat it as a lesson. Know that I am quite generous, but only when my charity is earned.” Hein’s expression turned serious. “Keep being good, and you’ll get more rewards. Don’t cause a fuss for my soldiers, and you’ll earn your privileges back. Please me, and you’ll even get gifts. Life can be quite comfortable for you, if you’re willing to work for it.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Rape  
> \- Forced body modification  
> \- Painful body modification  
> \- Forced arousal  
> \- Gaslighting

“There’s much that I can do. With darkness, or with any other power.” Hein stroked Luneth’s taint.

Then he stilled, brow furrowed in concentration, and fingers pressing down and inward. Luneth could feel the pressure grow, but it soon became clear it wasn’t from Hein’s hands alone. It was spreading, and his hands were still. Soon the pressure grew warm, and began sinking deeper into his ribcage.

“Asshole-“ he gasped, pain spiking upward. “Hein. What are you doing?”

Hein didn’t answer, concentration evident in his face. “Hein!” Luneth pulled at the chains, but they held firm. He didn’t have enough slack to seriously buck or build momentum, but as the sensation grew so did the need to fight back.

Soon the warmth became heat, and Luneth felt a pull inside. As though the pressure had become a vacuum, and was pulling the rest of him towards it. He felt it-

Felt his body open, parting like flower petals being pushed apart.

“No!”

Fuck deception. Fuck the long game. Fuck waiting for Hein’s arrogance to become sloppiness. Luneth thrashed. Kicked. Screamed. Swore. But hands still bound, hunger still stinging, old injuries and restrained magic still held him back. More than once, his struggles accidentally pushed Hein deeper.

He could feel Hein’s fingers as they dug deeper inside- in the most literal sense. Flesh and muscle folded and re-shaped itself at the wizard’s command, creating a new cavern as it went. Each new inch burned as it went deeper and deeper. Beneath it all, Luneth could hear disgusting noises, from something wet left behind wherever Hein’s fingers went.

Deeper and deeper they pushed, carving the new hole. Wet, warm, and horribly welcoming to Hein’s violations.

More than once Hein stopped, whispering something in Luneth’s ear that he didn’t have the presence of mind to understand. In those moments, Hein would pick one specific spot to press against- and then Luneth would be hit with another wave of sickening heat, arousal building as sensitive nerves were built and Hein laughed in his ears.

At long last they came to a slow. Luneth didn’t know how deep Hein’s hand had gone- he couldn’t feel anything down there but the occasional sickening burst of lust, and burning wherever new changes molded his body. Flat on his back, hair messily sticking to his neck and face, cum splattered from orgasms he hadn't recognized, he looked all the usual mess.

Hein put his other hand on the outside, on Luneth’s pelvis. For these changes, first Luneth felt cold, on his insides, at two spots between his hips. Symmetrical in alignment, deep into the body yet too far from the path Hein’s fingers had carved. The heat built slowly, yet it grew beyond any of the others.

In time the mutations grew so hot Luneth was screaming in agony. When it finally faded, he barely noticed the finishing touches left behind. He was simply too drained, dehydration kicking in, and he passed out before the process was finished.

///////

For the first time, Luneth touched himself while he was alone in his cell. It had nothing to do with pleasure- if anything his furious movements were more painful than most of the rapes had been since he started 'playing the long game'. But this new vagina was the one thing that hadn’t been seen by countless monsters already. Luneth wanted to learn his own body before anyone else, and fuck Hein for making that impossible.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Gaslighting  
> \- Implied Rape  
> \- Feminization intended to be non-consensual, however differing views on sexuality and gender cause this aspect to fall flat  
> \- Forced body modifications created solely for the benefit of another causing some disgust that can be interpreted as dysphoria (and is in-universe being falsely interpreted as dysphoria by an onlooker)  
> \- Self-hatred, guilt

“It’s for you.” Hein said. Luneth glared.

“Open it.” Luneth glared harder. He did not scream of Hein's hypocrisy or try to smother him with the package. “Go on- it’s not going to kill you.”

Luneth was tempted to throw it into the fireplace, just to taunt Hein. He silently counted backwards from ten, then turned back to the parcel. It came apart as he picked it up- not a package at all, but a robe. It was a simple cut, like a tunic with an elongated skirt.

“Go on- try it on.”

“I’ll get it dirty.” _Dumbass,_ Luneth carefully didn't say out loud. 

“I can take that back.”

“If you wanted someone to be gracious, you should’ve given this to somebody else.”

Hein chuckled, but he seemed to think it over. “Fair enough.” He jerked his thumb towards the archway without a door. Luneth had been led into the smaller chamber, and had seen Hein operate it's fixtures, though he'd never been given free reign to use it alone.

Luneth did his best to ignore how the wizard ogled him as he scrubbed himself down. He turned on the tap but ignored the tub- too many bad memories there. Pouring water straight from the pitcher down his back, letting the cold shock him. Normally on the rare occasions Luneth sought to clean himself he didn’t bother washing off any sweat, just getting any semen, slick and blood off was all he had the energy for. It’d all be back later, so why bother anyways?

But he wanted to- this time, it felt like a victory. With Hein watching him, the more normal he acted, the more he was throwing in the wizard’s face- you haven’t broken me. See? I’ve still got my dignity.

It was counter-intuitive to his plans and it was childish, but it was only in these fleeting moments of pride could Luneth feel whole.

Using a corner of the sheets as a washcloth, Luneth managed fairly well. He didn’t care about the mess he made, but he could’ve spent more time. When he finally grabbed the robe, Luneth was shivering and dripping wet, but he could only keep himself collected for so long.

The fabric was extremely fine, and rather thin. Between that and the pale color, it clung to his skin in wet patches. He shuddered in a way that had nothing to do with the chill.

On further examination, it became clear that the robe was actually a dress. There was room at the top for a bodice, and he was sickened to find that the material cupped his breasts- another recent 'gift' from his captor. Its sleeves were semi-short, cutting off just above his elbows, and the skirt went down to his knees.

With proper underthings, it would’ve been decent- neither modest nor shameful. But on it’s own, the dress seemed more like a complex nightgown. On Luneth, it barely felt like he was anything at all. A thin robe wouldn't protect him where it really mattered.

“The color matches your hair.”

Hein smirked.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Gaslighting  
> \- Implied Rape  
> \- Results of bargaining with one's captors coming to fruition, with guilt and shame associated  
> \- Feminization intended to be non-consensual, however differing views on sexuality and gender cause this aspect to fall flat  
> \- Self-hatred, guilt  
> \- Isolation  
> \- Mensuration  
> \- Despair

Life hadn’t gotten any worse. Luneth wasn’t sure he could call the changes that had come ‘better.’

He got moved again, back to the room of that first terrible night. With Hein visiting instead of summoning him, Luneth had to see demons less often, which in turn meant he attacked them less often. The gang-rapes slowed, until they stopped altogether.

He learned to be pleasing, even if he was never sweet or saccerine about it. In the depths of hell, Luneth learned to give handjobs and footjobs, to suck a cock better, to eat ass and to ride a cock. He didn’t learn as much about eating out a cunt or fucking one properly, as Hein had none and the monsters getting less rights to fuck him meant less practice.

And like that… three months passed. Luneth knew it was three months only because he now bled. Five days if Reifa was any indicator, and the mess made was horrible. If Luneth’s cycle was any different it was hard to tell, as after the first morning the sky never seemed to change. It always hung around a certain shade of grey, no matter the time or day.

The first period was before he’d ‘earned’- or rather, before he’d tricked Hein into giving him more privacy. He’d recognized it of course, having grown up with a mother pre-menopause who thought it important Luneth understand the hardships of bodies not his own. The blood was- exciting to the monsters. The aches and pains inside bleeding caused him faded when he climaxed but heightened his sensitivity, and Luneth wasn’t sure if that was natural or if Hein had made him that way.

In commemoration, Hein gave him an actual pair of pants- this one red, so that blood wouldn’t show. There was also three full pairs of underwear, with padding for the blood- but that he wasn’t allowed to keep outside of his bleeding. It had to be washed, of course.

There was more clothes after that. Mostly pretty, flimsy things built to show off his figure. A gauzy cloak. A pair of delicate sandals made entirely of cloth. A contraption that looked like a cross between a belt and a corset. A thin silver necklace- that he kept on as much as possible, hoping it was strong enough to serve as a weapon if needed. Though he never had enough to fill a closet, he did fill a small drawer that was finally provided to him.

With clothes and jewelry came better meals, food delivered more often (finally), small trinkets such as combs and mirrors, soaps. The gifts came in a strange collection of basic necessities and frivolous toys.

The one thing Luneth actually cared for- the one thing he used out of desire- was the polished wooden lute. Luneth had learned to sing on the piano in Ur, but he’d always had a gift for music. If nothing else, it kept his mind occupied and offered him a break from all the lies he had to live in.

Every escape plan had to be thought over for three unoccupied days. If after that time Luneth couldn't be certain he could pull the plan off, then he had to scrap it. And since this little game began, not a single plan had passed the test.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Contemplating morality and mortality  
> \- Isolation  
> \- Despair  
> \- Results of gaslighting

At some point, not long after Luneth had been chosen by the crystal, someone had told him that taking sentient life only got easier if you were going mad. Luneth couldn’t recall if the speaker had been trying to warn him or comfort him.

During some moments of melancholy, Luneth came to the conclusion that it wasn’t murder that made people mad- it was lies.

A person who hated killing, yet found themselves forced to do so by circumstance, would lie to themselves about their sins and how much it affected them. Not just to themselves, but to others as well, to save face or in the misconception that conviction everyone else of a lie would convince themselves. But these people wouldn’t be able to believe their own lies- no matter how much they may want to.

Instead, they’d come to hate themselves- for their own horror, and for the shame of believing they should not and did not have a right to this horror. They’d be unable to leave the lies, thinking that the only solution for themselves was to somehow persevere until lies became reality. But they couldn’t. And their hatred for themselves would be fed by this shame, growing until they lost the ability to love themselves- and eventually, lost the ability to truly love anyone else.

As the song goes: A person cannot love another unless they love themselves. Likewise, anyone capable of loving another deserves to love themselves. Pity the loophole- one can love themselves without loving anyone else.

Luneth has to stop himself from dictating his musings when he sings. He’d learned music on a piano, but he was getting better with the strings.

(And now his thoughts rhymed and came in matching tempo. Wouldn’t that be wonderfully annoying.)

Pity that sometimes, when he was able to play mindlessly and still carry a sensible tune, his mind wandered, and his thoughts turned down the same bleak roads he’d only risen from bed to get away from. It would be bad if anyone caught him singing of his true heart.

In truth, Luneth didn’t know how well he could deceive Hein. At the beginning of this plan he’d made a few small shows of complete submission and devotion, but there was always something horrible sprung on him that ruined the farce. In hindsight, he was almost certain that Hein had caught his acts right from the start and pushed Luneth specifically to break them.

So Luneth lacked the constitution or the skills to pull off a complete deception. Hein certainly had no doubt of how Luneth loathed the lecherous litch. (The alliterative was sung aloud- it was too silly not to share with Luneth’s room.)

And yet still, Luneth found himself in the same trap that drove unwilling killers to madness. Lies that he couldn’t truly believe built up, though unlike a killer Luneth had no desire to believe his own lies. Contrarily, he needed to remember that they were lies and remain unconfined about that, if he was to get anywhere. Yet the lies still burned.

And yet...

Where was he lying, really? Hein didn’t trust Luneth with a dining knife, never mind free reign to wander. Neither of them had any delusion that Luneth truly enjoyed the rapes- not on any level beyond physical arousal.

It was in truth Luneth’s greatest fear that he had nothing to lie about. Nothing to hide. No plan and no goal hidden that justified his submission.

Willingly doing what one was ordered under duress wasn’t submission- that was survival.

To stop fighting against one’s circumstances, against his captors- that was submission.

If the only lie present in the castle was that Luneth had anything to hide from Hein, then Luneth truly would be going as mad as those reluctant killers- because the only person he’d be trying and failing to deceive would be himself.


	10. Banquet, I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Gaslighting  
> \- Feminization intended to be non-consensual, however differing views on sexuality and gender cause this aspect to fall flat

“It’s time.” Hein paused. “Not that your singing isn’t lovely, but I’m afraid we have somewhere to be.”

An obvious lie, of course. Luneth’s singing hadn’t been on-key since his voice started cracking a year ago.

Luneth shrugged, handing the lute to the demon beside him and taking some small delight in how it squawked indignantly.

“I’m not a damned servant for some prissy slave-“ The demon snarled and thrashed, but when Luneth spoke over it he kept his eyes on Hein.

“Shall we go?” As he spoke Luneth gave a cats’ smirk, finding a little more schaudenfraude in Hein’s surprised look when Luneth linked arms with him at the doorframe.

Hein blinked the confusion away for a wolffish grin. “I see someone’s spoiled the surprise.”

Luneth shrugged. In truth he had been guessing when he made his move. It wasn’t hard to figure out that something was up when a duo of demons had barged in a few hours ago.

One of them looked him over. “Looks clean.” It snarled, “Get to work.”

Luneth had remained calm at first. The demons grabbed him, yanked him into a chair- and then one of them began brushing his hair. The other flipped over the chest Hein had let him keep, and began sorting through clothing and accessories.

Usually when the monsters had Hein’s permission to touch him they couldn’t wait before tearing into him. Perhaps the more intelligent ones would taunt Luneth about his situation first. Dress-up was an entirely new form of foreplay.

But the demon behind him was acting too methodical, too straightforward. It moved quickly and exactly, as though it were following instructions, or a ritual it had done a hundred times before. The one tearing through his clothes growled as it examined dresses.

Alright, so the one behind him was one of the less sentient monsters- it tended to happen when with beings made entirely of hate. That meant the monster looking at his clothes was the one who decided to play dress-up, and had ordered the other one along.

It made sense, until they finished dressing, jewling, and making him up. Then the sapient one hung back and began entertaining itself with muttering, while the non-sapient one stopped moving altogether.

Which felt like they were waiting for something. Which didn’t make sense unless-

“He ordered this for me.” The sapient monster glared at him, which Luneth ignored (although he did be careful to keep his thoughts quiet). The thing about Hein was that he liked to give his personal touch. Even when he needed someone else to complete a task for him, if the project was important to Hein he made sure to give detailed instructions- sometimes even doing a ‘supervised practice run’ to make sure his requests were met properly.

While Hein had ordered articles of clothing and jewlery on during sex or when they were first received, he hadn’t worked through an entire preparatory outfit. Which meant the sudden order to dress up was a secondary, necessary preperatory task before the ‘main event.’

What Luneth hoped- what he’d been dancing around this entire time, was that Hein had to take him somewhere public. Somewhere around people to be impressed by Luneth’s looks. The outfit was modest enough to be formal, but revealing enough to (make it clear that the intention was to) be sexy. But demons either wouldn’t be able to determine these details or they wouldn’t care, meaning that somebody was going to be there to be impressed.

Or Hein liked the aesthetic, and ordered it for his own benefit. Or he was mad enough to fail to recognize this detail.

Details and doubts like such kept popping up while they waited for someone to collect Luneth. He’d picked up the lute to keep himself preoccupied and pass the time. Then when Hein arrived, Luneth acted on his wishful thinking- and was pleased when his hopes so far were confirmed.

Sure enough, they traveled through parts of the fortress that Luneth had never seen. He tried to map it all out in his mind, making sure to note every detail that could help later. Finally the pair came to a set of dark wooden doors, flanked on either side by a Pharaoh. Luneth waited while Hein pushed the doors, but the wizard stopped just short of actually opening them.

“Ah, one more thing.” Hein turned to Luneth and gave a cruel grin. “You don’t mind if I introduce you as my lady.”

Being Hein’s anything was unbearable to Luneth. Even acknowledging this would be humiliating. So Luneth shrugged and dodged the subject. “If wanted strangers to stop calling me ‘Miss’ I’d have cut my hair years ago.” To be fair it was true- many assumed that Nina of Ur, single and with no desire to marry, had adopted a little girl to carry on her midwifery.

Hein’s eyes searched the child’s face. Whether he found what he sought or not Luneth couldn’t tell, before Hein turned back and shoved the doors open with a gust of magical wind.

“Sorry to keep you fine lords waiting!” His voice boomed out, in a crescendo and a level of charisma Luneth had never seen Hein display in concurrence before.

Five hume men- three wearing damaged armor that matched as soldiers’ uniforms- had been seated at a long table. Two of them flinched when the doors open, one more was staring blankly into space, and the rest had scowls settled on their faces. One of the latter two spotted Luneth soon after the doors opened, and the hatred on his face gave way to shock and confusion.

None of the men looked comfortable in Hein’s hospitality, their bruises and wounds looked at least a few hours old. And they were all bruised and injured, in one way or another.

“I see the staff saw fit to seat you merry men- ah, but you were kind enough to wait to start the festivities.” Hyne pulled Luneth along to a pair of seats at the head of the table. Luneth kept his eyes on the humes- the first full sentients he’d seen besides Hyne and some demons in months.

One of the frightened men spotted Luneth as the couple walked around the table, and he stared openly. He shook the man next to him- the remaining scowler- and whispered something to him that drew the scowler’s eyes to Luneth. The man’s face flashed through bewilderment, confusion, realization, and then back to rage as he examined Luneth. His attention flickered between Luneth and Hyne, while his nervous friend remained fascinated by Luneth.

Being pushed into a chair didn’t break Luneth’s concentration. As Hyne droned on about something or other Luneth studied the guests. One didn’t look like a fighter at all and none were fresh to fight, but- there were people.

Maybe they could help.


	11. Banquet, II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Gaslighting  
> \- Non-consensual use of aphrodisiacs  
> \- Rape with objects  
> \- Feminization intended to be non-consensual, however differing views on sexuality and gender cause this aspect to fall flat  
> \- Forced voyeurism  
> \- Internalized slut-shaming

“Forgive my lady, she’s had a fair bit too much to drink.” Luneth shifted, causing more friction between his thighs. “And she tends to get frisky when left alone for too long.”

Something was wrong. Luneth knew what was wrong, he’d felt this way before. He’d had this drug fed to him before-

He barely noticed when Hyne’s hand reached under the skirt that it wasn’t fingers probing his cunt. A moan slipped out of his lips before Luneth could stop it, and he curled over his plate.

It wasn’t fingers- a root vegetable of some kind. Luneth knew the name, or at least the name of something similar-looking that they grew back home, but the words escaped him and he couldn’t really care-

Hein twisted the root, and Luneth gasped open-mouthed in ecstacy. He let it happen, giving his body up to his primal hungers and letting his mind float into that fuzzy haze of arousal and instinct…

“How dare you!” Luneth’s eyes snapped open. Dread pooled in his stomach- one of the hume men had stood up, glaring Hein down. The man started towards them- trying to protect Luneth or kill Hein or both, but two of the demonic guards were too quick and restrained him. “How dare you defile that girl- get off me!” The guards held firm, though they hadn’t inflicted punishment on the man for his insolence. Nonetheless he seethed and fought harder. “Get your hands off her, you bloody monster!”

And wasn’t it nice to have someone try to stand up for Luneth for once? The boy that always played the rescuing knight, now defended by a would-be knight of his own? To be cast into the role of the helpless prince awaiting rescue?

_Wasn’t it nice to be reminded that none of this was what he deserved?_

“Defile her? Dear me…” Hein chuckled, and as he did hollow laughter echoed throughout the chamber- monsters of all shapes and sizes laughing along with. That was when Hein grabbed Luneth about the waist and pulled him bodily onto the table, ignoring the dishes and food that scattered about. “I’m afraid anything that could be ‘defiled’ has already been so- enough that there’s not much purity left to tarnish.”

Hein grasped Luneth’s cock and gave it a firm stroke. He hadn’t even noticed when the skirts had been pulled up, when his legs were pushed wide for the unwilling hume audience to see everything between there. But he gasped and moaned all the same- as each stroke brought waves of sickening euphoria that shook him too deeply to be refused.


	12. Banquet, III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Gaslighting  
> \- Implied Rape  
> \- Non-consensual use of aphrodisiacs  
> \- Feminization intended to be non-consensual, however differing views on sexuality and gender cause this aspect to fall flat  
> \- Suspected threat of mutilation

“Don’t you want your manhood back?”

Luneth inhaled sharply. He couldn’t help it, as he braced himself for the impending castration. But Hein turned back to the men in front of him, and began his monologue again: “See, it’s a clever thing, magic. The bodies of hume are made to have a constant flow of…”

It took time for Luneth to realize the meaning of Hein’s challenge. That Hein thought putting Luneth in dresses and growing his hair out was humiliating. That he thought emasculating Luneth should hurt him. That Hein didn’t have femininity of his own to fall back on, would flounder if pushed into it, and so assumed that all men should be lacking the same way.

It was possibly the first time Luneth found honest pity for his captor. Still, despite the urge to laugh, Luneth didn’t correct Hein. He let Hein think what he would.

And frankly, there was too much else to worry about at the moment.


	13. Banquet, IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Gaslighting  
> \- Rape  
> \- Non-consensual use of aphrodisiacs  
> \- Feminization intended to be non-consensual, however differing views on sexuality and gender cause this aspect to fall flat  
> \- Rape by Proxy- threatening/intimidating a victim to force them to rape a third party  
> \- Penetration with objects  
> \- Painful penetration  
> \- Forced Non-oral consumption of poison

Whatever had been laced into his food wasn’t enough to keep Luneth from noticing the boiling pain in his gut. He came back to himself slow, his ears ringing. Only no, that was someone screaming he was hearing. And it wasn’t Luneth’s own voice- how unusual.

Luneth was on his back- no surprise. His legs were bent up around the shoulders of someone above him- again, that was normal. Those shoulders belonged to Hein- obviously. Hein was looking away- that was new.

Hein was speaking to someone in front of them. Luneth’s ears were ringing too much to make out the words, but he could tilt his head enough to see- oh, another hume. That’s right- the banquet. Luneth had forgotten.

Something wrenched inside his gunt and Luneth hissed. Wetness, too sloshed inside- but literally, not the way cum would be pushed in. A wine bottle, mostly-filled with something, probably toxic, had been shoved inside Luneth’s cunt, mouth-first.

“-someone’s got to do it.” Hein was saying. “If not me, and not the staff, then someone has to.”

“But-” Whoever had protested shut up as Hein pushed further into Luneth’s cunt, forcing a shrill cry from his lips.

“I’m just saying- you fine lords can keep your hands clean, and simply watch. You can say that whatever happened today was out of your hands.” Hein tilted the bottle from side to side, up and down, pushing it deeper inside. Whatever was in there burned as it poured in.

“Blame me for it. Claim you were helpless. That there was nothing you could do.”

Luneth knew Hein’s ultimatum’s well. Had learned to look back in hindsight and recognize that there really was no other option given- that such coercion was no different than physical force.

But these men wouldn’t know that. Wouldn’t have had time to learn that. For all that they had clearly been beaten and raped themselves, it took countless iterations of abuse and gaslighting for a victim to recognize the deceit for what it was. Experience that none of the ‘guests’ could possibly have had yet.

But Luneth did.

“It’s okay.” His voice cracked as he spoke. Movement in the corner of his eyes told Luneth that Hein had turned to him, but it was the men before him whose eyes Luneth’s met. Had to focus on, if he was going to get anywhere.

“It’s okay for you to fuck me.” He coughed, but still raised his voice as much as he could and prayed it would be loud enough for them to hear him. “Don’t get yourselves killed for my sake.”


	14. Banquet, V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Insanity  
> \- Implied rape

The vessel of salvation came from the same source of Luneth’s pain. As the Cura spell faded, Hein pressed a kiss into Luneth’s hairline. And Luneth whispered,

“You were the healer.”

Hein tilted the boy’s head with his index finger, puzzled. “All this time- I thought there must be a slave somewhere here, who’d been healing me every time it was too much- but it was you all along, wasn’t it.”

A smirk. “Indeed, sweetling.”

Luneth swallowed hard. He didn’t know how to ask- but he needed to know- but he couldn’t get too invested or else if the plan came apart-

“How?” In the end Harrod came to Luneth’s rescue. The one time he managed to protect Luneth, and the man would never know what he’d done. “You use so much dark magic- how can white magecraft even be possible for you?”

Hein laughed, but he answered anyways. Turning away, unable to see Luneth’s face as realizations and hope blossomed there.  
“You fools… it’s how I keep track, you see. Darkness is beautiful, but one need not be overwhelmed by it to use it. My ability to still use White Magic is proof that I am still in control of myself- I am still the master of the monsters and the power I wield.”

“You’re decaying.” Luneth whispered, before the words could slip out. But Hein merely stroked his cheek mockingly.

“I’m halfway to mastery, of course, but what I’ve sacrificed has been entirely of my own decision. I haven’t lost myself yet, nor will I ever do so. The Darkness won’t take more of me than I choose to give it- I, for one, have the power to ensure that. So long as I can wield the magic of the Light, I’ll always be the one in control.”

Hein was truly mad if he believed that. Nobody could be so far gone and still have any Light left in them. But if Hein could use White magic- if a creature of darkness could use it- then any creature of darkness would surely be able to use White magic, if only they knew how. Then it wouldn’t matter how much Light one had, or lacked, they could still use those spells.

Then it wouldn’t matter that the crystal’s light was beyond Luneth’s reach- if he could just finally learn what his mother had tried so long ago to teach him. He could learn the same way she had.


	15. Banquet, After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Implied/off-screen murder  
> \- Forced bystander syndrome  
> \- Sexism

It hurt so badly to look away. To sit back as innocent men died in the same room.

But Luneth needed to be quiet. He couldn’t make a scene as he gathered his things- as he pulled on one simple shift to cover himself and bunched the rest into his arms.

He couldn’t draw anyone’s attention- he couldn’t let them see what he was hiding in the bundle. The dagger had fallen close enough to where one of Luneth’s bracelets had rolled under the table that he’d been able to gather it without drawing suspicion, but now that he’d taken steps to conceal it he couldn’t let it be found.

Worst of all was the acute awareness that he couldn’t ever let himself turn this blade against Hein- or even any of the monsters.  
Hein knew about the poisoned dagger. But he was waiting for Luneth to erupt. It’s what he would’ve done in Luneth’s position, and he couldn’t imagine that Luneth was different.

Hein thought Luneth would use the knife as a weapon.

Hein didn’t realize that while eruption had once been the only way Luneth knew how to fight, it wasn’t because he was a boy. It was because Luneth was Luneth, and Luneth was impulsive. He was right that Luneth was a boy, but boys don’t have to be violent or stick to one path just because they were boys. Even if they were, Luneth had never really cared if he was a boy or a girl- he only used the words to describe himself that everyone else used to describe him because it was easy. He’d never bothered to think about it, and had no instinctive aversion either way.

It wasn’t until Hein made it clear how he’d assumed that Luneth had strong opinions on femininity and androgyny that Luneth realized that Hein- or indeed, anyone- thought that he should care about such things. Had he realized Hein’s flawed mentality earlier, he might’ve flaunted this comfort. Might’ve taken his pride and shoved it in Hein’s face and screamed at him you’re wrong, you haven’t broken me, you can’t break me this way.

But then he’d made a promise. And watching Harrod die had taken the truth he’d guessed at and been playing with for months and showed it to him in a way that made it all more real than anything Luneth had ever known before.

So he couldn’t use the dagger on Hein, he couldn’t risk it’s discovery. He’d have to hide it, keep it tucked away at all times.

Except when he was alone.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Self harm for strategic purposes  
> \- Implied PTSD  
> \- Internalized shame/guilt

Technically, Nina of Ur was a midwife. In practice, she had fifteen years of experience acting as the de facto healer of Ur- and a few other neighboring towns to boot. The closest doctor lived in Kazus, as the training it took to get certified took years of study and resources that only cities could hold. The backwaters where Ur lay was blocked off from the rest of the kingdom by geography, making travel difficult enough that nobody who had the time and resources to spend building a career would settle down there.

Both Arc and Luneth had long decided that they’d like to someday move away. Luneth just wanted to see more of the world, and Arc wanted to become one of the learned scholars that lived so far away. Arc hadn’t really fit into the village since his grandfather died, as he had no other family- and even that wasn’t a tie of blood. Ur was a place people came from, not a place they went to unless they had something to hide. Luneth and Arc were notable outsiders- while Luneth had a boldly carefree attitude that made it hard for others to be cruel to him, Arc simply wilted. Luneth wanted to find fulfilment outside of his home, but Arc was actively miserable.

Thinking of Arc brought back memories of what he’d overheard. And his fears that his friends were being kept from the Crystals power the same way Luneth was, only without Hein’s possessive protection…

‘Enough.’ Luneth shook the thoughts off and returned to his mother. In Sasune, there were several ways to be licensed as a midwife- Nina had successfully delivered ten babies, both child and mother surviving without complications, and thus she fit the requirements for a license. She’d never gone to Kazus or found an official to give her a shiny piece of paper making it official, but everyone in the area knew she had the credentials. But her real talent was in a wide range of knowledge and skills she’d picked up and learned to apply to the human body to make it better.

In fifteen years or so she’d be old enough to consider looking for an apprentice, but in the meantime, Nina had taught Luneth a thing or two about her trade. She often was called off to the next town over to help with a difficult case. Luneth, being a curious and rowdy child, had almost always gone with her on these trips. Or Nina would run out of stock and would have to journey up the mountains for some foxglove, or to the willow grove out in the middle of the woods six miles off. Luneth might’ve been curious and headstrong by nature, but Nina was the one who’d showed him how adventuring works.

And there’d been one spell she could do. Something Luneth hadn’t had the time or the attention span to learn- for all that he loved helping his mother at work, Luneth had long thought he was meant to be a traveling bard. His love of music was stronger than his love of medicine.

But after the wind crystal, it’d been easy for Nina to teach Luneth the spell. He was watching her draw out the venom from the butcher’s daughter after the girl had stepped on a toxic snake and something in the magic was familiar, in ways it had never been the hundreds of times before he’d watched Nina work Poisona. One lesson later, and the spell that had taken his mother three months to master had taken Luneth less than an hour. The sudden easy comprehension of magic was yet another way the Crystal had suddenly reshaped his life. And it had been stripped away when Hein first raped him.

It was daunting. It was confusing. It was painful. And only now was he able to dwell on it without the risk of drowning in despair.

Luneth had defined his ability to do magic by the crystal’s power and the Jobs he took on. But if Hein could do white magic himself- apparently magic didn’t give a damn how much Darkness or Light you had in you. And from the fragility of his skin to the weakness in his muscles, Luneth had worked out that Hein’s repeated corruption was enough to bring Luneth back to the level of an unenhanced human, not corrupting him outright (yet).

It would be hard, it might be impossible, but Luneth could learn to access magic the hard way that mages not blessed with crystal power did. And while Black Magic might be useless in Hein’s castle, White Magic was often subtler anyways. If he wanted to kill Hein, Luneth couldn’t fight alone. If he wanted to free his friends, he’d need to be subtle. And Luneth could practice and learn with much less danger to himself if the spells were subtle.

That’s why Luneth hid the dagger he’d stolen in the lining of the mattress. That’s why he pretended not to notice Hein rolling his eyes and glancing meaningfully towards it- probably convinced that Luneth was going to try to stab him with it. As though Luneth would be so foolish.

He brought that dagger out only during the safest moments. When experience and practice told him that chances were slim of anyone walking in on him- and only in the mornings, when he’d have the rest of the day free to sleep and recover his health.

Nina had learned and taught this spell using captured rats and small dishes of contaminated water. Luneth only had himself to use as a test subject. He had to be very careful that he only nicked himself a tiny bit with the poison dagger, minimizing the amount of toxins he let into his body. Always the same spot on his palm- with luck if the scars built up, he could claim it was a natural palm-line. 

Luneth always hid away the dagger first, and he’d give himself an hour of experimentation before trying to sleep off the toxins before anyone could notice. It wasn’t much time, and the doses were so small he might not even notice if he did succeed, but in just a few days his attempts had started conjuring feelings that reminded him of the early lessons with Nina, before he’d given up on magic. 

“Poisona.” Luneth murmured, focusing intently. “Poisona.”

For the first time since his experiments had started, the wound seemed to glow, faintly. It could’ve been that the blood was reflecting the light- but no, the light source never changed in this room, and the lamps hadn’t flickered.

Luneth stretched his hand. It still stung, a light burning that he was fairly sure meant the poison was still there.

“Poisona.” Luneth focused on the feeling he’d gotten when it glowed. “Poisona.” Nothing.

Glaring, Luneth tried once more- this time not trying to draw up the feeling he’d had when the spell worked, but the concentration he’d held right before the attempt. “Poisona.”

The burning stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Yeet
> 
> I have no idea how this train wreck got so long, but now it's got world-building word dumps and shit. Maybe someday I'll get around to explaining that Arc's studies are the reason Luneth has such a big vocabulary, idfk where this is going.


End file.
